Five good reasons Americans don't watch soccer is a funny piece at the Christian Science Monitor today. Here are the five reasons but you have to read the commentary to truly appreciate the author's insigtht.
- We didn't invent it.
- We have unattractive knees.
- We're not good with our feet.
- We are not good at kvetching.
- We don't understand the rules.
I especially liked the comments about kvetching.
If you've ever watched an international soccer match you know that kvetching, aka complaining or oy yoy yoy-ing about being hurt, is as important to soccer greatness as being married to an attractive model. And yet, as much as American players writhe on the ground as if run over by a Panzer division, all our efforts produce only "are you kidding" headshakes from referees. The truth is our athletes are not very good actors. Ever see a Shaquille O'Neal commercial? Barry Bonds deny taking steroids? Not exactly Oscar-winning performances.
Actually, when I played soccer twenty-five years ago, not only did we have a coach and a trainer, but a drama coach to help improve our kvetching. *grin* Seriously, if there wasn't blood flowing or a limb bent in a peculiar position, you either got off the field or risked a yellow card for delay of game. I really grow weary of all the drama these days. I also miss our coach imploring us to "Get out there and kick the crap out of 'em!....but in a Christ-like manner." Ah, those were the days.