During my quite time this morning, I received this distrubing vision from the Lord:
And the citizens of the United States cried out, “How long, Oh Lord! How long shall we endure this presidential campaign!”
And behold an angel of the Lord appeared and said, “The tribulation shall be two weeks of weeks, fourteen weeks in all. Eight-four days is the allotted time. The world will be filled with prophecies. There will be visions of donkeys enslaving the world to socialism, creating death panels, plotting economic apocalypse, and ending national defense. There will be visions of elephants decimating the poor and middle class to lift up the wealthy, throwing the elderly and the ill into the streets, killing everything in the environment, and replacing the Bible with ‘Atlas Shrugged.’
There will be no respite, no escape, from the reach of the campaign. The mark of the campaign shall be upon everything … cars, billboards, coffee mugs, pens, and stickers on office walls. Yard signs will spring from the ground as a great plague. Many will bear the mark of the campaign upon themselves with lapel pins and buttons. Like locusts in Egypt, campaign ads will consume advertising space. Everywhere you turn … television or internet … grainy black and white images of vile antichrists will appear. Radio and phone message will be saturated with foreboding voices accompanied by ominous music. Angels of light will appear proclaiming that they alone can bring salvation. Two weeks of weeks is the appointed time of tribulation. No more, no less. Only then, will this tribulation cease.”
And the people cried out, “And then what? What shall we see then?”
And the angel replied, “The beginning of the next presidential race.”
The citizens tore their clothes in anguish and there was wailing across the land. The people cried out, “Surely this cannot be so! Are you truly an angel of the Lord? How can we trust the message you have brought us?”
And then the clouds parted and great booming voice was heard, “This is the Lord! … and I approve this message.”
Hmmm... You seem to have a lot more time on your hands.
Posted by: Denis hancock | Aug 15, 2012 at 10:33 AM
Yes! No I can bless the world with my creative writing! ;-)
Posted by: Michael W. Kruse | Aug 15, 2012 at 12:51 PM
Well done, that is awesome!
Posted by: kent | Aug 16, 2012 at 11:07 AM
That is so funny, saddening, and true.
Posted by: JHM | Aug 17, 2012 at 11:00 AM